Self-Introspection

The past weekend I have met a lady who has given up in men. She has kids and taking good care of them, she told me that she is never going to date any more. She has been in relationships with men and it seems like they are all the same. Most people say this right? “All men are dogs”! I used to say it to but then I realize that when I say all men are dogs I am referring to my lovely brother who has been faithful to his wife for years, I am also referring to my beloved father, who is married to my mother for 34 years and has been faithful and a providing man to his family. I am well educated because of his hard work; I am where I am now because of him. Therefore how can I say that he is a dog? You also feel is inappropriate right? But that’s what it sounds like when you say “all men are dogs”

I made the lady realize that me and her have dated wrong people, Oh no, maybe not wrong people but we gave them the platform to be unfaithful to us. I have told so many people about this; so today I want to share it with you -- The little things that we take for granted our in lives and relationships are actually important to us no matter how little they are. For an example, your man is on the phone talking to a girl and you can clearly hear that the conversation is not with “just a girl” but a girlfriend, instead of you explaining the way you feel at that moment and address the issue if he is really cheating on you; you choose to keep quite because you think it might spoil the mood. And maybe the relationship is still new you think you cannot be talking about cheating on your first 3 weeks right?

I sometimes think like that, but that’s where we get it all wrong. Talk! When you have a problem with anyone, tell them. Hello, I am not suggesting that you should scream and yell like every other girl does: I am saying as extra ordinary woman address that issue immediately without creating any drama. Just say; “honey, I find it very disrespectful when you are talking with your girls in front of me and again as we start this relationship, I suggest that we should do it on a clean plate. If you are involved with anyone else besides me, please let me know so that I know how to deal with this in the near future” – How simple is that? You actually don’t have to scream to say these words. If he is involved with anyone else, then you make a choice of keeping him or letting him go.

Have you ever heard people saying “like attracts like”? You might be looking for a good man, who loves, committed, faithful and many more. I want you to ask yourself if you are that type of a person, if you are then you will definitely find him. Faithfulness comes a long way, so its commitment. Have you been faithful to yourself? Have you been committed to your promises? Have you ever taken time to love yourself? If not, then why do expect people to give you what you cannot give to yourself.

We meet all these wrong people because we are wrong too. I hate to say it but it’s the truth. If all men are dogs that means we are female dogs too. Scientists say, for every action there is a reaction. Let me explain it further, when you do something, good or bad you will get good or bad results. You are unfaithful and not committed to your promises – you will be given exactly that.

We get in relationships and we expect a man to be faithful to us when we haven’t even been faithful to ourselves. I remember I once spoke about self-love, when you have loved yourself you will attract love; so is everything that I have mentioned.  A lot of times we struggle to love, accept, forgive or understand others not because we are bad people, it’s because we don’t understand ourselves. Be committed to learning about the person you really are. Find out what you like and your purpose on this earth

These are the same words I spoke with a lady who lost hope in the dating world, and it was an eye opener to her. Men are not all dogs and they are not bad people either. There are good men out there that love their woman and committed to them, so why do we want to refer to them as dogs just because of a few people we have met? I have been through enough, relationships, career and life in general. I have been hurt and disappointed by people that I have never thought they would, and maybe I also did the same “my apologies” but all these was to strengthen me —I strongly believe that everyone of us in this world deserves to be loved, but we should love ourselves first and love will come around.