Self Love

There was a time I felt uneasy about myself, but could not figure out what exactly was wrong. I was quite irritable, impatient and I was bewildered within. There were times I cried over nothing due to emotional despair, and was basically dissatisfied with myself on no notable ground.

I verbalised my worries and in self reference I would say "you are crazy" – and by so doing I was suffering from self-critic. There were times I blamed God for my frustrations, and would ask Him "why me?” I got captivated in my negativity with ensuing negative results. Then one day, I had a positive contemplation despite the negative ambits of my reasoning, and I decided to embark on a fasting program. This was the beginning of my victory.

In my course of fasting, I got more submitted to the Will of God, and worried less. I stopped questioning God, but rather believed that God was well aware of my situation, and He cares. Jeremiah 29:11 tells of God's plan for me. And I know that if God has a plan for me, He also has His strategies.

So weeks after the fast, I reassessed my life and daily routine, and realised that I spent an unrealistic proportion of my time on social media. I virtually woke up unto Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Whatsapp. Seeing that I had led a life that was absolutely not fit with the demands of my dreams and responsibilities, I decided to challenge my addictions by simplifying my daily routine. The new routine was exclusive of social media.

I now wake up with a praying tongue every morning. After praying while on the bed, I massage my face with my fingers, and run them down my shoulders, breast and stomach, hug myself and show me some love. I learned to thank God for my head, shoulders, knees and toes, and my beauty started telling on my persona. I knew I was beginning to be as sweet as I looked.  I observe my wet alluring eyes with caution and my hips constantly reaffirms my observations - I am sexy, beautiful and too gracious to be objectified. I Love Me.

This is self-worth based on progressive self-discovery. The more I got to know God, the more value my knowledge of God places on me - I could no longer settle for less. The void I once felt was now filled with love, dream and self-respect. With self-worth came self-respect, and with self-respect came respect for others. I started greeting people I never greeted before with geniality. I localised my happiness with a contagious smile. Quite a lot of people noticed the new person I have become, and indeed they ask me, "What happened to you?" Here is my secret: love yourself enough to make the best choices for yourself. This doesn't mean self-indulgence. In fact, it is more demanding of self-discipline.

Sometimes, people get so caught up with social and domestic routines, such as relating to husbands, wives, children, family and friends. All these factors come with inherent expectations that in a lot of instances place demand on our own fulfilment. I realised that I can on the one hand lose myself in the advent of being a good friend, but then, I can rather be the best me that is also the best friend that one can have. Therefore, instead of losing yourself in the advent of being a mother, you can be the best you, and discover the best mother in you.

So, if read up to this point, I could have a plausible presumption that you are in a process of being the best you – love yourself.