Pain Breeds Purpose

I grew up in the dusty streets of Lotlhakane, in Mahikeng. A typical girl with no dreams or goals, living a life with no meaning, a life that was surrounded by pain. I was the kind of a girl who people said, "she will never amount to anything". It was a painful experience. I was dying inside, yet kept smiling. As I grew older, I thought the pain I used to feel would go away, little did I know that it would only increase. I found myself in very toxic relationships, I got hurt, played on and talked about. But I kept going.

I have been through so many struggles, pain and disappointments in my life that I know how it feels to sleep with no food in the house, to lose someone you loved with all of your heart and to be played. I know how it feels to be called names and things you are not. I’ve made so many mistakes, repeatedly, hoping that I would get to a better solution. I know how it feels to be rejected and taken for granted. But through it all, God gave me courage to walk through those painful moments, because with pain comes purpose. He brought me through those difficult times to teach, train, and prepare me for everything that I am today and everything I will be in the future. 

Had I not been through that pain, I wouldn't have stepped into my purpose or become closer to God. The Bible in Jeremiah 29: 11 says,  “‘for I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord. ‘The plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’”. Because God understands that life is not a straight line of unchallenged successes, He brings pain in His plans too but the good thing with this pain is that, it’s not there to do any harm but to drive us into the person He created us to be. 

I like the story of Lebo Guguluza. He lost his fortune in 1999, went into debt worth about 4 million rands and he calls that period “the most PAINFUL time of his life.” , yet he learned invaluable business lessons that helped him settle all his debt and build a company that made turnover of R2 million. Lebo today is an entrepreneur, a media mogul and a motivational speaker with a net worth of 300 million rands ($19 million). He discourages young entrepreneurs from the lure of fast money, a trap he calls hustling. God walked him through all that, so that he can teach young and aspiring entrepreneurs how to manage and run their businesses. Had it not been for the pain that he went through, when he lost all his money and having that much debt, he wouldn't have known about his purpose. 

Where are you in life? Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically? You may be going through emotional pain all because God wants you to learn something, so that you can teach about it. Your relationship life may be in shambles, simply because God wants you to understand what love is and teach about it. You might be overweight and dealing with losing the weight, because God is calling you to change lives of people through fitness or you may have been challenged spiritually because God wants your testimony to touch many lives and to bring His people closer to Him. 

Don't look at your situations and see problems and see defeat, look at them and see elevation. Every problem, need, rejection, pain and situation is bringing you closer to your purpose, for this pain you are feeling is breeding your purpose. Look at the world’s richest men, they had to be rejected and to feel pain in order for them to be where they are today.

What type of pain are you GROWING through? Identify where it’s coming from and take down the lesson you have learned so far that may be a direction of your purpose. When you step into your purpose, that’s where fulfilment is, if you haven’t learned anything, you will be the same as you were yesterday!

What's your assignment?

In June 2014, God laid a thought in me to write a book. I knew nothing about publishing a book, I read two or three books and yes I had a story to tell, but getting a complete book published and known, seriously I was clueless. Nonetheless I knew my WHY power, that God is opening doors for me, HOW? I didn't know. So I wrote my book, not knowing the title of the book, can you believe it? But yes! I listened clearly to the voice that said WRITE a book.

Late in 2014, while reading the message in my book, God gave me the book title "The Journey" and in 2015 when I was about to write the last chapter of my book, a Facebook friend posted a cover photo of his book with a caption "coming soon". That captured me and I texted him right away. He gave me all the details I needed to publish my book. Was that the beginning of my victory? Not yet!

I needed a whole lot of money to publish my book and to launch it. The money I didn't have, did it stop me from publishing? No! I trusted in God and everything ran smoothly, my book was published SUCCESSFULLY. I sold more than 100 copies the first week of my book launch. Suddenly things fell into place, I got myself TV and radio interviews, people started knowing about me and my book. The sales went up and my speaking career became BIG. More blessing and more testimonies. The list is endless!

What was my assignment? To write a book ONLY! Everything was in place, I just needed to write a book that does not only sell but change lives too. I will ask again, WHAT IS YOUR ASSIGNMENT? Your assignment is not to know the HOW part of it but to ACT because God has BIGGER things in store for you. Do the WORK, when God gives you an idea, don't wait, ACT! DO THE WORK, your assignment is not to google and ask if your friends are liking it or not. Your assignment is to DO THE WORK. Play your part, get up and DO IT, even if you don't know how. God will meet you half way, JUST WORK! JUST DO IT! ACT!!!! The world needs people like YOU!

Men hurt too

Its deeply disheartening how some of us women, treat men. We hurt and call them names. Just because they are physically strong, it doesn't mean they are emotionally strong. We live in a society where anger is the only emotion a man is allowed to express without any negative sanctions, that's why male anger is a sure sign of depression.

Believe you me, I am not trying to advocate for men but I need us to understand that they do have feelings too! Some men may be even more sensitive than most women. But you will never know it. Our society has are conditioned us to believe that men are wired to suck it up, to man up, and to avoid confrontation.

A friend of mine who is now a divorcee, once told me how his ex wife used to abuse him verbally. He said he couldn't even say anything because she was always on his case. Coming back from work to home used to be a hustle to a point where he slept at the garage one day. He said, I came back home and she was yelling like she used to, therefore he chose to mask his depression with anger because it was the only way to show some form of emotion without looking weak and vulnerable.

Really? Are we that hurtful? After doing a research on this, it was proven that, most men who are abused emotionally by their partners are usually on the look out for someone whom can give them peace. Therefore they will go out there and cheat intentionally because they want a peace of mind.
Men do not want to argue with women. They despise it! So whenever you yell at him, he will keep quite but it will eat him up on the inside to a point where he looks for someone who will not do the same, thus most of them cheat. Sometimes its because they cannot stand your yelling or express how they feel.

Talk to your man with respect. Show him love, love comes with peace. When there is peace in the house, everything else will go accordingly!

Formal Education Only, Is Not Enough!

We grew up knowing that education is the key to success and yes most of us still believe in that even me. But formal education only is not enough, I am not encouraging people to quit school and start hustling, what I am saying is that, get your degree, masters, your doctorate and PHDs and know that it doesn't end there. So many people have all these qualifications but they have been sitting in one position for a decade now and nothing exciting is happening.

I have diploma in Information Technology and I am a certified UNIX system administrator and pursuing a Bachelors degree in Psychology and that's not enough. Last year, I got devastating news that my position was redundant and I was given two options, to be demoted or retrenched. For a second, I wished the world could just end. I woke everyday to fight so much for my position, I couldn't believe that I spend years in varsity just to do something that anyone who has a Matric certificate could do. For two months of my life, I kept on fighting, and nothing changed.

Then, I decided to promote myself to a position that will take me years to get if I do it the fromal way. I am a CEO of my own company that is doing exceptionally well for a start up company. Who would have just promoted me to that position? No one! Look, the world's most influential people did not have formal education, instead they used their talents and gifts to create the life that they wished for.

AGAIN: I am not suggesting that you should quit school, all I am saying is that, EDUCATE YOURSELF. I couldn't have had my own company or even run it successfully if I didn't educate myself. Personal development is important. I could have cried over my position and probably pointed fingers at others, blaming them for not creating an opportunity for me.

Formal education will give you a job that will make you a living, but self education will make you a fortune and give you a peace of mind. By the way, not all of us have brains to read school books and excel, some of us are given the brains to lead. Why sit there and suffer? 

Are Independent Women Scaring Off Their Men?

She got her master’s degree; she is hard working, intelligent, independent and a dynamo. She loves the Lord, active in the church but no husband or boyfriend.

What does she lack? Balance? Maybe and maybe not!

Most of independent women are single and it is believed that they want to be the man in a relationship or marriage. Believe you me this is true, some women, just because they have money and everything and probably earns a lot more than a man. They are condition to believe that automatically it makes them the head of the house, which is wrong. Is this saying that we are scaring off our men? Hell yes! But have ever looked on the other side of the story?


Look, a man was designed to bring security to a woman's life, this is connected to his manhood and self-worth. So some men define themselves by how much they make and what they can give a woman and that's their nature. At times a man's finances determines the success of the relationship because when he earns a little meaning when he cannot provide more, it makes him feel worthless and he opt for a woman who has lesser than him. So he can be able to provide for her.


Most of the times when a woman provides more than a man, usually the man becomes unfaithful, because he goes out there to look for a woman he can settle with in terms of providing and being the head. So because independent women are linear thinkers, self-reliant, have structured goals, self-sufficient, and committed to their cause, therefore they cannot stand someone who doesn't have a clear direction of his life because to them being unfaithful is taking all of their focus. They feel like they have to now pause their goals and dreams and pamper a child who isn't willing to grow up, but to men it’s a way of coping and getting all the attention he need from both the side chick and the main one.

The moral of the story is that, not always that women who are independent are single because they don't respect men, they sometimes cannot deal with a man who isn't willing to grow, even if he is still faithful, he has to show that he is willing to grow financially. So that they can both have a stability in life.

Letter to men

Dear Men, 

Sometimes, it will be very hard for you to impress a woman who was raised by a single parent (Mother), especially if the father ran away from his responsibilities because that absent father created a bad a image about men. That young lady only knows the bad side of men, that men are cowards, heartless, you name it!

Sometimes loving her will be so difficult, hence we have so many ladies who are not appreciating what you doing for them... The problem is not you, but the man that left her mother suffering. Remember she grew up seeing her mother struggling. sometimes they didn't even have anything to eat or money to go to school. 

So men, guard against leaving your responsibilities. A child needs both the mother and the fathers' love. And if one wasn't good enough, it results in what I had mentioned above. You don't need to have money to show love, you can just be there for them, your time is needed.

Yours Truly,

Women

The power of salvation

What is salvation? A lot of people ask! I go to church every Sunday and I am actively involved in the things of church, does that mean that I am saved? 

In 2010 I decided to go to a church around my area and have been there ever since. Salvation was preached each and every day, even today and by then I didn't know the importance of it. I thought once you become actively involved in the things of church and going to church every Sunday, it automatically mean that you're saved. But I was wrong!

So in September 2012, I went to church like I used to. Then at the end of the church service, the pastor was praying, and he simply said "those of you who want to give their lives to Christ, quickly raise up your hands". So I did, because no one could see me then, unlike going in front were everyone could see you. But I asked myself, how is Christ going to see me then because no one laid a hand on me or gave me anything to show that I am saved after this.

I raised my hand anyway, and after praying he then said "quickly put your hand down" and I did! Walk out of church, having so many unanswered questions. To me I thought, when you receive Christ, firstly someone needs to lay hands on you, and when you walk out of church, you will sort of feel like a giant and all your problems will be gone right there, but I was lying to myself.

So it went on and on, and I finally saw some changes in me! It happened after a while though, and my relationship with God was becoming so deep, that I couldn't sleep without having a conversation with Him (praying), well I used to. Then before I knew it, everything fell in place, I finally found my purpose. Doors are opening. My life, my finances, my love life, my career are working on my favor. If you want an abundant and empowered life, you need to have a relationship with God. 

A lot of us have a relationship with the world, busy entertaining the flesh, when we have problems we then blame God for not protecting us. We let our Saturday nights interfere with our Sunday mornings, we have no connection with our maker. 

The decision I have ever made, was not of writing a book and making money, but it was of giving my life to Christ. Have a spiritual life, you don't need to be perfect to have one, and God will work on you. Seek the Kingdom of God and all will be added unto you. ‪