Have a new mindset

How many of you have heard people saying, "You’ve got to have a new mind" or "a new perspective?" It's difficult for anyone to have a new perspective when the reality in front of you is different. How do I have a new perspective when I am in debts, when my husband/wife is unfaithful, when I am unemployed, and and.... Having a new perspective doesn't necessarily mean you ignore what's in front of you but you simply acknowledging the fact that life on it's own is not a straight line of unchallenged successes and things don't just happen to you because you are bad person but they happen so that they can help you see something in you that's been hidden by the cluster in front of you.

Many years ago when I was found out I was sexually abused and that I was not a virgin, it was as if my life had hit rock bottom. I found out this after 2/3 years when the whole community was calling me a prostitute simply because I was smoking. I think because in the olden days people were not really used to women smoking, and women smoking back then was related to prostitution. I was 14/15 years when found out this, yet my life turned around to being something I have never imagined. The reality was simple, I was forced into making decisions that would save both families (my family and the family of the rapist), I also had to decide whether I continue living my life as I used to or changed. It felt as if I was forced to be an adult at the young age.

While people at age 14/15 are still kids and enjoying themselves, I was a kid forced into adulthood. I wanted to turn into being a man, men could smoke but no one ever named them prostitutes. My virgin was taken away from me without my consent “by a man”. So situations really favoured men, and I wished I could be re-born as a man so that my past could change. But my wishes could not become my reality. And I lived my life like that for many years. I was in denial; I was hurting, angry, confused and full of unforgiveness. I attracted the same type of people in my life, my relationships and my career. Angry people who wanted revenge, hurt people whose mandate were to hurt more people and everything else was a mess.

Like everybody else, I’d ask myself and God “why me?” what have I done so bad that my life would turn to be the way it was. Have you asked yourself that question? Well, after many years of living in turmoil I figured out one secret to living a life full of abundance. That secret was to have a new mindset and change my perspective. I found out that the only information I had in my mind was information that was bad, bad memories, bad encounters; everything was bad. And most of these bad things were done by people (well I thought); there was never a time I accepted that I also had a hand in whatever was going on in my life. It had to be other people and not me. He raped me, they called me names, they demoted me, they took my money but there was never a time when I was part of these bad things.

It was simple, it’s either I let people control my life or my view of what they did to me was wrong. So I read the bible, the most interesting chapter in the book of Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” What are the patterns of the world that’s been referred to here? The patterns were exactly what I used, blaming others and allowing their evil ways change the person I was meant to be. I had to renew my mind by being actively involved in my day-to-day life, taking responsibility of my own life, actions and feelings. I started reading books, attending classes and going to seminars. That helped me a lot because I was creating the life filled with memories I wanted. I learned to forgive people who’ve hurt me, intentionally or not. I have learned to forgive myself, and to learn new things and unlearn things that were not of any good.

I cannot forget that I was sexually abused, or called a prostitute or that I once almost lost my job because of a selfish boss who was pushing her own mandate. I honestly cannot forget, but I have forgiven all these people and forgave myself too for letting them control how I used to see myself and my future. Today I wake up knowing that I am strong, solid, secured and amazing and I know who I am and what is it that I want. I am living a life now that is on purpose and intentionally creating what my heart desires.

Have you walked the same path as me or perhaps you are going through what I went through? Let me remind you, no matter how painful it is, you are the only one who can save yourself from that mess by changing your attitude, perspective and focus. They said what you focus on expands, so if your focus is on bad things, guess what? Bad things will continue happening to you more and more. Sit down and do your little home work:

1.       List all the things you are grateful for in your life right now.

(Because nothing new can come into your life unless you open yourself up to being grateful)

2.       Write down what you want.

(If its money; write down the exact amount you want. If it’s a job, describe it, describe your boss, your colleagues and the salary. Be clear about what you want)

3.       Have a vision board. The bible said, without a vision the people perish… Proverbs 29:18

(Google pictures of the things you want to have, paste them in a board and look at them every day)

4.       Do your daily affirmation of the things that you want.

(If you want 1 million dollars or rands; begin to say, I have 1 million in my account. Visualise it. Feel it in your being. Don’t say you will have, say it as if it’s there.)

5.       Beware of your words and thoughts, if you have a bad thought, cancel it with a positive word.

6.       Read and finish a book, attend a seminar or a class.

All these will be your new way of living, if you commit to this lifestyle, your life will also change. For more, order my book Confessions and The Journey to learn about the physical work you can do to your body in order to get what you wish for.

Email: malebomaetso@gmail.com

Cell: +2771 147 2389