A Submissive Woman

A wife must be submissive...

A wife must submit to her husband...

Oh WHAT A CLICHE! You have probably heard of this growing up, and surely even now. It is one of the most misunderstood concept in history and my worry is DO WE REALLY KNOW WHAT SUBMISSION REALLY IS?

I have struggle with this for a while because culture taught us that being submissive is being domestic. Meaning if you don't cook and clean, you are not a submissive. And some define submission as allowing yourself to be controlled by your spouse. But tell me, how on earth do you allow yourself be controlled by another person? Say you have been living alone for three decades, you get married in your early 30's and suddenly you're told you need to allow yourself to be controlled by someone else who probably doesn't have an idea where they headed to, do you think that make sense? NO!

Most husbands use this word SUBMISSIVE in order to treat their wives as slaves, most of them don't really understand what submission is and they aren't aware that submission is a two way stream. A couple must submit to each other, and the bible makes it clear in the book of Ephesians 5:21: "Submit to each other out of the reverence of Christ" -- It simple: husband love your wife and wife submit to your husband. All of this, is submission according to our different needs.

But let's first understand what submission is and what it's not.

Submission is not oppression and definitely not slavery.

If you look in the book of Genesis 3, Eve was deceived by the devil and because of that, it caused both of them (Adam & Eve) to fall out of the Glory of God. Why did the devil approach Eve? Because women are naturally emotional. Most of our decision are based on how we feel, and because sometimes how you feel can be deceiving, we need someone who can help us with logical thinking. Therefore because of the biological makeup of a man and his emotional well being, God wanted him to help with decision making. This doesn't mean that a woman must be quite or she is not allowed to make a decision, but two is better than one and sometimes a man's decision may be better because they think logically, not based on feelings. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT this doesn't mean a man is better than a woman nor does it give him the credit to oppress his wife. It simply means that working together can produce much better results.

But that's not all, in Ephesians 5:25 the bible says "husband love your wife as JESUS loved the church. A man's love is compared to Jesus's love for the church and we all know that He came to save us (the church) from the death penalty to eternal life. So Jesus had a PURPOSE with/for the church: to give us life and life in abundance. The second thing we need to notice here is His VISION for the church "whosoever believe in me shall not perish but have everlasting life" His vision is to take everyone with him back to the Father. Now before we get confused about submission, we must look at the fact that the husbands' love is compared to Jesus's love for the church and Jesus had a PURPOSE and a VISION for the church hence he gave up his own life for all this to be fulfilled. So this comes to my main point, a husband must have a PURPOSE for his life and a VISION for his marriage and he has to be willing to GIVE UP everything in order for this purpose/vision to materialize.

I know a lot of men who have a problem that their partners are not submissive, but are you certain that you have a vision for your marriage in order for your wife to submit to and was the vision communicated or you have subjected her to submitting to routines of cooking and cleaning and that's how you measure her respect and submission? I know we are taught that women must submit, look at God, we submit to him because of the vision and the promise he has for our lives. So submission require something a vision, a purpose or a promise. Culture/tradition has taught us that manhood is measured by how much you bring to the table and this left men running around looking for money in order for them to be recognized as REAL MEN, the society say, a real man work, he provides shelter and food for his family, no -- that's not what a real man does, a real man is the one who is Christ-like; the one who has wisdom, who is faithful, who has a vision and a mission. Nowadays men live their lives without a sense of purpose and without vision, going were the money is, and when they finally get the money, the come back home to oppress their wives with what the world said submission is.

It is your responsibility a man to lead your family to God. The bible said, without a vision the people perish and I am saying without the vision for your marriage, it is bound to collapse. You can't drive a car without knowing where you want to go. You have to know where you are going first then take your family with you, and if you know where you are going, your wife will really trust and submit to you. Maybe now she is not doing all that because you as the headship of the family, you don't know where you headed to.